Anime The Great (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} anime_tion85) wrote,@ 2005-12-10 14:39:00 |
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| Current mood: |  frustrated |
| Current music: | Bare Naked Ladies ~ Call & Answer |
Bah Humbug Indeed
It's been so long since i last updated...Sorry for that. I havn't lost interest in any of you, my friends. I've just been dealing alot with my offline life.
I think i've been feeling a bit depressed lately. I havn't drawn hardly anything, i havn't played RO in over a week (my account is even paid for) and most days i just wanna curl up into a ball and stay in bed all day. And thats not like me, i love to draw and play RO and normally it only take a few tries to crawl outta bed most mornings. But lately i just feel so...BLAH. So many things buggin' me.....
Like the loan that Jake and I have been trying to apply for is getting on my nerves. We have to fill out application after application for just one stinkin' loan. We both wanna get the hell outta our parents' houses and we don't really make a lot of cash workin' at Wal*Mart. And with the holidays here, it's literally impossible to save. I want out so bad, but then again, i am scared outta my mind about moving out aswell. It's just alot of responsibility that i hope i am ready for. Jake's here to help me with it though so i thank the stars for him. We've found a rather nice yet inexpensive place in Akron that we are aiming for and so if we can hurry and get all this crap filled out (hopefully for the last time) then we can get rolling.
Then i have to listen to Mom and Randy bitch at each other day and night because it's been 5 months and the kitchen is not finished. They started this remodeling project probably last yearish and started with the upstairs (where i live). Everything is finished up here, 'cept for the stairs leading into the dinning room. The entrance way, kitchen and dinning room are all pretty much gutted out and they're almost finished with the entrance way. They still have a little ways to go with the kitchen (tile floor, counter tops, sink) and well, the dinning room hasn't really been touched in weeks. Every weekend i have to listen to then bicker back and forth about how she thinks he's slow and lazy(which he is) and how he thinks she needs to stop bitchin' and help out (which she should do). I hate listening to it day in and day out. The weekends are the worst because they both have the day off from their jobs and it still seems like nothing gets done. Which makes mom bitch (oh gawd how i hate her 'angry voice') which annoys me and makes me wish i could go to work earlier. I seriously like working on the weekends just because i can get away from all the drama bullshit that happens here and it the main reason i want to move out too. They can bitch at each other all they want after i move out....bleh...
And i've gained probably another 10-15 pounds over the last few months, which makes me feel like shit. I've been wanting to lose weight and this is what happens instead. It always seems to work that way too...I try to lose and gain instead...I'm so tired of it...not being able to wear the cloths i want to wear...I just want a nice pair or flared jeans lol is that so much to ask for? Seems like every time i go shopping for new cloths i'm only let down and left dissapointed and depressed instead. I think that's the main reason as to why i have been feeling so glum lately too. And it seems like there is nothing i can do about it. I don't want to cut out my fav foods...and I hate exercise, seriously. Maybe i've just been eating more then i should be, i might be picking up Jake's habits since i hang around him so much. He's lost like 20 pounds since we started dating but he's still a bigish guy (which is fine by me,i like cuddly men) and we've both discussed losing weight. He'd like to get down to around 200 and i would love to be atleast 180...But it feels like such alot to lose. Maybe including more fruits and veggies and less salts and fats...Bah, i hate having to think about every little thing i want to eat. Weither or not it's gonna be good or bad for me ya know? lol Sucha pain. I just need to get my stomach stappled or have them suck the fat outta be lol. Take the easy way out. And its not like i'm a freakin' cow or nothing, i'm not morbidly obese, just about 50lbs over weight. And even thought it doesn't nessarily seem like alot, 50lbs really is alot to lose...i don't think i'm ever gonna do it either. Gawd if i could even get back down to a size 15-16 i'd be so happy lol...Maybe it will be easier to do when it warms up in Spring..and there i go pushing it aside again...man i'm too predictable...
Bah.
